


50

by bruisecore



Category: Death Note, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, M/M, Wammy House
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:03:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4508847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruisecore/pseuds/bruisecore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a death note/tokyo ghoul crossover crackfic au written for tumblr user twurg.</p><p>(Horrid 3 AM demon spawn of a going away gift.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	50

**Author's Note:**

> The only thing I did to this was remove the personal message I wrote for twurg. You can still read it in its awful, bland, glory.
> 
> 1/14/17: for extra context, my emotionally congested, 16 year old ass wrote this for my ex gf who i was still in love with at the time. she's a great person and i wish her all the happiness in the world.

a death note/tokyo ghoul crossover crackfic au

ahem

once upon a time there lived a tiny kuroneki. kuroneki was a precious little kid but some bad stuff happened and his momther died. kuroneki was really sad but he was also a child prodigy so he decided to read like. read every book in his father’s library to cope with the trauma while the system decided to cart him of to live with one relative or another.

kaneki lived in a country that has a ministry that handles not only education but also sports, technology, culture, AND science so obviously that wasn’t very efficient and it took the government a while. (im kidding japan  but the name is funny and too long.)

so anyway kuroruro neki was picked up by a dude who called himself watari but was really not japanese. horrendous accent, in kaneki’s opinion, which was too bad b/c his mustache was just fab. 

anyway kaneki was forced into selling all his dad’s books to pay for collegeboard’s ™ iq test or sat i and ii or w/e and obviously he failed them b/c it’s racist and ableist as fuck not to mention it waS IN FUCKIN ENGLISH WHICH HE DIDN’T KNOW??

anyway watari started laughing at kanetwurgki’s horrified expression upon realization of his failure b/c the collegeboard thing was a huge meme and watari is a closet memer. so then watari’s like “ey, you’re p ok kid! come to england with me so that i can use your education as a pretense for training the world’s next top model! the current one is my adopted son btw” then he caught himself “i meant detective. world’s next top. detective.”

but it was too late!!!!  **く**   **ろ**  金木 研 had already caught on to his evil scheme!!

so he contacted police and watari was arrested for fashion crimes against humanity. l was adopted by light’s family and the two grew up to be v fashionable detectives for interpol.

kaneki, meanwhile, had met hide hamsterface and was quickly taken in by his family along with all of the books that had been recovered from that memeing incident. blackneki married hide soon after high school and they moved to the country side where they had an alpaca farm and lived happily ever after w/o uta.

the end

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry.


End file.
